I Hate You So Much That I love You
by Rosea149
Summary: As Merlin enters Camelot he meets the Lady Elmina. A woman of beauty and pureness. Though, she is destined for great evil. Evil nobody can stop. Two lovers or two enemies? Can they love? Or is their relationship a lost cause?
1. Prologue: A New Life

_We know what we are, but know not what we may be- William Shakespeare_

* * *

It was a sunny day. Too sunny for the situation. It should've been cloudy with a storm. It should have been all dark not bright.

Elmina looked out her window to see Camelot's castle coming into view. She rolled her eyes and tilted her head. She missed home and her mother. She had to keep her magic more hidden than ever and she could no longer rely on her parents to help her control it. Her mother was dead and her father disowned her.

Elmina frowned lightly as she began to fiddle with her mother's wedding ring. Elmina didn't know what to expect from her new life. Would Elmina and her uncle Uther still share their friendly bond? What was the Lady Morgana like? Would Uther's son be as she imagined? Elmina yawned slightly and after awhile she felt the carriage stop.

The door opened and Elmina got out to see a crowd of people on the main steps of the castle. Uther came towards her and he was looked the exact same as when she saw him last.

Uther gave her a warm embrace. "My dear niece, Elmina. It has been too long. You must be at least eleven years old now," Uther said kissing the top of her head.

Elmina smiled and hugged back,"eleven, yes."

"I'm so sorry about your misfortune," Uther whispered sympathetically. Uther stroked his niece's long silky bonde hair.

"Thank you. But, please. I don't want pity," El smiled sadly as her beautiful green eyes nearly watered. El couldn't believe her mother died. Her mother meant everything to her.

Uther nodded at took a step back as a girl probably the same age as El walked up. "This is Morgana, my first ward," Uther introduced Morgana as she curtsied.

"I'm Elmina," El smiled. El added quickly,"but, most people call me El."

Morgana smiled brightly at her,"I'm sure we will become good friends."

Elwina's grin grew as she nodded. She somehow sensed something strange about Morgana. She felt her magic tingle. Though, Elmina didn't know Morgana played such an important role in her destiny. A boy maybe a year or two younger than the girls came up and stood next to Uther. Elmina examined him,"and you must be my cousin, Arthur."

"And you are Elmina?" Arthur narrowed his eyes at the girl. Arthur was surprised by the fact his cousin was so slender and she seemed quite elegant in the most beautiful ways.

El smiled again and curtsied,"yes."

"Welcome to Camelot," Arthur replied knowing what happened to her, he believed she needed the best welcoming she could get.

"Thank you Sire," Elmina said quietly trying to ignore her heartache. Arthur gave a sad smile and looked at the ground.

Uther looked over as an old man walked over. "My Lady," the old man said before bowing. The old man was wearing an orange robe and his hair was quite long and white. He looked almost familiar.

Uther placed a hand on the man's shoulder and said happily,"this is Gaius. The court physician."

"The famous Gaius? It is an honour," Elmina bowed her head. Gaius smirked as he realised how much she looked like her mother.

Uther pulled out something from his cloak stopping Gaius from talking. "I have a gift," Uther handed her an emerald necklace. Elmina smiled at it, noticing the chain was real sliver. It was truly beautiful.

"Thank you, Uncle. You have always been so considerate," Elmina looked up at him. Uther grinned ignoring how much misery he was in.

"You can wear it at the feast tonight. It is a welcome feast. To help you meet the noble families that live around here," Uther told her. Elmina opened her mouth to protest, but Uther stopped her,"as well as a memorial feast. For your mother."

Elmina nodded in reply as she tried to smile.

* * *

After awhile Elmina found herself lying on the bed of her new chambers. There was a knock on the door which made her jump. "Lady Elmina!" she heard a gentle girl's voice call.

El opened the door to see Morgana's maidservant. Elmina's eyes sparkled as they often did. "My name is Guinevere, but you can call me Gwen. I'm your maidservant along with the Lady Morgana's. Well, until Uther can find you an appropriate one," Gwen introduced herself with a sweet welcoming look.

Elmina shared the look,"it's lovely to meet you. You can call me El. No offence, but I prefer to do most things by myself, like for instance clean my room. Like dress and make my bed. Actually, I think that would lift a huge bundle on your shoulders."

"It would, thank you," Gwen said making a relieved sigh.

Elmina felt like Camelot might actually do her some good as she was unaware of what was happening outside of Camelot.

* * *

Fifteen year old Morgause circled a man who had entered her castle. The one she stayed in. "Your daughter is on the path to evil, thanks to you," Morgause smirked wickedly.

The man gaped shivering in fear,"Elmina isn't evil."

"Sure she is. Well in the future she will be," Morgause retorted. Morgause placed her hand on a wall. She knew about Elmina's destiny and the part she would play.

"Don't you dare say that about my-!" the man stopped himself from talking more. His heart was crying in pain and guilt.

Morgause snickered evilly,"your what? Daughter? But, you disowned her. Obliviously, blood isn't thicker than water, hey? You should be proud of her; not many could gain the power she has."

"I came it seek help. There must be someone way to stop her," El's father told Morgause eagerly.

"What would you have me do? I can not change it nor can Nimueh. Evil isn't born, it's created. You have given Elmina to Uther. Uther makes enemies with everyone. You have given Elmina to her destiny. Soon she will turn cold and dark. She will betray her family and friends. And she will seek vengeance. All because of you. And who do you think she will want to kill first?" Morgause smirked again coldly. She just loved doing this to people.

El's father was now in complete fear as he realised his mistake. He thought he was doing Elmina good, but turns out her fate was his fault. Elmina was to destroy Camelot thanks to him...


	2. Dragon's Calling: The Boy Named Merlin

_He hates magic more than he cares for me- Morgana_

* * *

"Let this serve as a lesson to all. This man, Thomas James Collins, is judged guilty of conspiring to use enchantments and magic. And, pursuant to the laws of Camelot, I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that such practices are banned on penalty of death. I pride myself as a fair and just king, but for the crime of sorcery there is but one sentence I can pass," is what Elmina heard her Uncle declare from her chambers. Elmina looked down in sadness as she felt her maid's hand being placed on her shoulder. "When I came to this land, this kingdom was mired in chaos, but with the people's help magic was driven from the realm. So I declare a festival to celebrate twenty years since the Great Dragon was captured and Camelot freed from the evil of sorcery. Let the celebrations begin." Elmina rolled her eyes. How dare he? You can't just celebrate chopping an innocent man's head off.

Elmina heard a woman sob and Elmina nearly bursted into tears herself. "There is only one evil in this land, and it is not magic! It is you! With your hatred and your ignorance! You killed my son! But I promise you, before these celebrations are over, you will share my tears. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a son for a son," the woman said furious and depressed.

Elmina walked out of her chambers and her maidservant Lilli followed. Lilli became Elmina's maidservant when they were both thirteen and Elmina enjoyed having Lilli around. They were best friends. Not that Uther enjoyed the fact. Lilli had long red hair that was in a ponytail. Her eyes were blue and she had a few freckles.

"Are you okay?" Lilli asked quietly as she was the only one who knew about Elmina's magic.

Elmina shook her head,"it could have been me." Lilli nodded sadly.

Elmina and Lilli walked to Gaius' chambers and knocked on the door. Gaius opened with a grin,"My Lady, Miss Lilly."

"Gaius, how many times must I tell you it's El?" Elmina rolled her eyes with a slight smirk. "It's been about eight years of me telling you."

Gaius laughed amused by Elmina. "So it has. And look how much you have grown. So what can I do for my favourite customers?" Gaius asked raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing. I just couldn't stand being in my chambers and I really don't want to see my Uncle right now," Elmina sighed at the end.

"Well then come in," Gaius greeted. He knew that El had been fighting with Uther ever since Thomas was arrested. Gaius allowed them in and Elmina narrowed her eyes at the bed.

Elmina looked at Gaius ,"refurnishing?" Gaius nodded with a chuckle.

All of a sudden a stranger came out of Gaius' old storage room. Elmina examined the boy as she sense something strange about him. He was though, quite cute in her eyes. "Oh, Merlin i want you to meet the Lady Elmina, Uther's second ward and her maidservant Lilli," Gaius introduced with a smile. Gaius looked at El and Lilli," Merlin is the boy i was talking about the other day."

"Hunith's son?" El widened her eyes.

"You know my mother?" Merlin asked El as he stared at her. He was clearly admiring her beauty.

El shook her head,"no, but Gaius talks about her fondly."

"Hunith is a a wonderful woman," Gaius nodded happily.

"Well, welcome to Camelot, Merlin. If there is anything i can do for you, don't be afraid to ask," El smiled sweetly. El's eyes sparkled. Lilli looked at El realising she was attracted to the boy. Lilli smirked and rolled her eyes.

"Thank you," Merlin nodded with a goofy grin that Elmina found loveable. Gaius looked at the both of them with a warning look.

A couple of hours later, El and Lilli left and went back to Elmina's chambers. Luckily, Uther wasn't there waiting for them. As it turned into night time Elmina got ready for the fist feast of the celebrations and made he way there, only to detour.

Elmina walked over to see Morgana looking out of a window,"sad isn't?"

"El? I thought you would be at the feast by now," Morgana turned to her surprised.

"What kind of person do you take me for? I won't participate in these celebrations. And me and Uther aren't exactly chummy at the moment," El rolled her eyes.

Morgana gave a faint chuckle,"i hope Uther wasn't always like this. Hateful, ignorant."

"Morgana, Elmina," Uther called as he showed himself.

"Yes?" The wards asked at the same time.

"What is it? Why are you not joining us at the feast?" Uther asked his wards concerned.

El rolled her eyes angered,"I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for celebration."

"That poor mother," Morgana added just as angry.

"It was simple justice for what he'd done," Uther replied narrowing his eyes at his niece.

"To whom? He practiced some magic, he didn't hurt anyone," Morgana stated.

Uther didn't appreciate the statement,"You were not around twenty years ago, you have no idea what it was like."

"How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?" El questioned lifting an eyebrow.

"Until they realise there is no room for magic in my kingdom! You both will be with me when i greet Lady Helen," Uther told the ladies furious.

"I told you! I want no part in these celebrations!" El retorted.

Uther looked at El as if he didn't know her. Like she was a disgrace. "I'm your guardian and your uncle! I expect you to do as I ask. If you show me no respect at least respect our finest singer."

"You know, the more brutal you are, the more enemies you will create!" Morgana shouted as Uther left. Morgana and Elmina looked at each other with mixed emotions. And it suddenly became clear to Elmina, Uther hated magic more than he cared for the both of them.

* * *

Elmina, the next day, headed out to the training grounds in armour as Arthur promised to train her today. Elmina remembered when she asked Arthur to teach her swordplay after she first saw him train and Arthur actually said yes. That was years ago and Elmina was now Arthur's equal, possibly his superior at swordplay.

"Where's the target?" Arthur asked his manservant Morris. Arthur's gang laughed while El shook her head at her cousin.

"There, Sir?" Morris replied with.

"It's into the sun?"

"But, it's not that bright."

"A bit like you, then?" Arthur teased as all the knights laughed. El gaped. Her cousin could be such an ass in front of the knights.

"I'll put the target on the other end, shall I, Sir?" Morris began carrying the target closer to the wall.

"Teach him a lesson. Go on, boy," a knight egged Arthur on.

"This'll teach him," Arthur grabbed a dagger showing everyone.

"Yeah," another knight said.

"Ha-ha. Teach him a lesson," the first knight laughed.

Arthur threw a dagger at the target. "Hey! Hang on!" El yelled stepping in front of Arthur. Morris stopped walking worried.

"Don't stop!" Arthur yelled pushing El away.

"Here?" Morris asked after taking a few steps back.

"I told you to keep moving!" Arthur threw a second dagger.

"Come on! Run!" Morris ran as fast as he could as Arthur threw more daggers.

"Stop this now!" El demanded crossing her arms.

"Do you want some moving target practice?" Arthur asked Morris as he fell. The boy El knew as Merlin put a foot on the target.

"Hey, come on, that's enough," Merlin told Arthur. El smiled at Merlin in a way that said 'thanks'.

"What?" Arthur was confused; a servant was ordering him around.

"You've had your fun, my friend," Merlin replied with.

"Do i know you?" Arthur quizzed.

Merlin held out his hand,"Er, i'm Merlin."

"So I don't know you," Arthur claimed. El rolled her eyes.

"No."

"Yet you called me 'friend'."

"That was my mistake."

"Yes, I think so."

"Yeah. I'd never have a friend who could be such an ass," Merlin responded surprising many.

Merlin went to walk away. He clearly didn't know who he was talking to.

"Or I one who could be so stupid," Arthur remarked. Merlin stopped walking. "Tell me, Merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?"

"No," Merlin confirmed.

"Would you like me to help you?" El looked at Arthur who had said that. El gave Arthur a foul look.

"I wouldn't if I were you," Merlin warned.

"Why? What are you going to do to me?" Arthur chuckled and El began staring at Merlin.

"You have no idea," Merlin said and caught El's eye.

"Be my guest! Come on! Come on! Come oooooon," Arthur egged on. Merlin went to punch him, but Arthur twist the servant's arm behind his back.

El gasped,"Arthur stop it now!"

Arthur looked at his cousin,"El..."

"Stop it! He may be a servant, but he deserves respect and rights. If you are suppose to be the future king then there is no hope for Camelot. Stop acting like a child! Leave him alone! And stop being a bastard!" El snapped, concerned about Camelot's future and Merlin. Why did Arthur do this?

Arthur let go off Merlin and gave El a dark stare before turning to Merlin,"you're lucky Elmina was here."

Merlin sighed before looking at the king's second ward with 'thank you' twinkling in his eyes. He walked away. The rest of the training was awkward and silent.

* * *

Elmina turned to Lilli,"do I look alright?" It was the night of the big feast and Elmina dressed in a blue dress that complimented her greatly. Her hair was plaited and perfectly clean as was her skin. She still wore the necklace she received from Uther years ago along with her mother's wedding ring.

"You look grand, Merlin won't know what hit him," Lilli smirked mischievously.

"Lilli, i don't like Merlin. I told you that a hundred times," El gave a threatening stare.

"But if you-" Lilli started.

Elmina cut her off,"Uther would have his head."

"I'm sorry. I forgot," Lilli looked down ashamed.

"Don't apologise. It's fine. Luckily, i have no affections for the boy," Elmina said preparing to leave. "Can't wait to see Arthur's face when he sees Morgana."

-Merlin-

Merlin stood in the banquet hall watching Arthur laughing with his pals. Suddenly Arthur stopped laughing and stood astonished,"God have mercy." All the knights looked his way.

Merlin turned his head to see Morgana and Elmina walking next to each other. Merlin'a heart skipped as he watched Elmina pass him as she talked with Morgana.

"Merlin. Remember, you're here to work," Gaius interrupted Merlin's inappropriate thoughts.

"Oh, yeah," Merlin said still watching Elmina as Gaius left. A noble man went up to Elmina and began what looked like flirting.

Merlin sensed Gwen walking up to his side. He lip read the noble man and understood that he said,"Elmina, you look fantastic."

"She looks great, doesn't she?" Gwen smiled.

Merlin nodded,"Yeah."

"Some people are just born to be queen," Gwen stated looking at Elmina who was now officially flirting with the noble man.

"No!" Merlin yelled not wanting to believe it.

"I hope so. One day. She has got better options than Morgana. I mean, who'd want to marry Arthur?" Gwen asked feeling sorry for Morgana who was talking to Arthur.

"Oh, come on, Gwen. I thought you liked those real rough, tough, save the world kind of men," Merlin chuckled.

"No, I like much more ordinary men like you," Gwen claimed. Merlin caught Elmina's eye for a few seconds.

Merlin smiled at Elmina,"Gwen, believe me, I'm not ordinary."

Gwen obviously didnt see the way Merlin and Elmina were looking at at each other,"No, I didn't mean you, obviously. Not you. But just, you know, I like much more ordinary men like you."

"Thanks," Merlin and Gwen awkwardly turned away from each other.

Celebratory horns played and the nobles went and found their places at the tables.

"We have enjoyed twenty years of peace and prosperity. It has brought the kingdom and myself many pleasures, but few can compare with the honour of introducing Lady Helen of Mora," Merlin watched Elmina's fake smile at Ither's speech and when it was over she turned that smile into a furious frown.

Everyone clapped and the music began. The court too their seats and Helen began singing. Merlin saw Elmina nodding off and after awhile realised everyone else was, she he block his ears. Cobwebs formed over the court. Merlin saw Helen stare at Arthur and walk forward as she pulled out a dagger from her sleeve. Merlin quickly acted, he dropped the chandelier with magic and it landed on the singer. The court awoke and pushed away the cobwebs confused. Uther and Arthur stood up as they saw the mother of Thomas Collin lying on the floor crushed by the chandelier. The woman threw a dagger at Arthur. Merlin managed to slow down time and save him. Uther, Elmina and Arthur stared at Merlin amazed.

"You saved my boy's life. A debt must be repaid," Uther told Merlin.

"Oh, well..." Merlin said modestly as he used magic.

"Don't be so modest. You shall be rewarded," Elmina said with a smile as she turned to her uncle that nodded.

"No, honestly, you don't have to, Your Highness," Merlin refused.

Elmina shook her head,"No, absolutely."

Uther grinned at his niece," This merits something quite special."

"Well..." Merlin smiled.

"You shall be rewarded a position in the royal household. You shall be Prince Arthur's manservant," Merlin hear the king announce. Elmina and Merlin both frowned. The court applauded Merlin.

"Father!" Arthur protested. Merlin looked at Elmina who now chuckling while shaking her head in amusement.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin :(**


End file.
